i feel like i've been struggling with this unexplainable need to be reckless. (cunningham recklessness just popped into my head 0_o omg crim law). but yes. as i'm reaching e last few months of my teenhood (HAH), which will be spent being crazily free (summer break, FOR ONCE), i dunno. i feel like its my last chance to do something i never will have the chance again before i enter the third decade of my life. there are somethings that it feels only a uninhibited, heck-care teenager can do. because though i always say age is just a number, you feel like you no longer have the luxury of being stupid, of doing stupid things. there is some comfort you take in that falling down. to know that you're still alive. you still feel that pain. and to see the scab, the bruises and watch them heal. its like as you grow older, you learn too much, you learn to always be careful, to never trip, never do anything dangerous. you just end up living this safe, foolproof, moderate, boring life. and its out of this desperation to break out of e boundaries that you do something you think is 'living', and its more severe, stupid, unnecessary than anything you'd ever do. and it doesn't make you feel alive, young or whatever again. it just leaves you emptier, older and more weary than ever.

i should not be spending my time on such musings when my exams are in 4 DAYS -.- gah. but its 7am, and i'm awake :D after sleeping an insane 10 hours. hahaha. bye :p